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Lab humor

Ode to PCR
By Jeanette Lyerly and Liz Parks

One day when I showed up for work
My PCR had gone berserk.
My samples wouldn’t amplify,
No matter how many things I tried.
I finally had to ask it why.
Why won’t my samples amplify?
Then came the following reply—
I do not care how hard you try…
I will not amp it on a plane,
I will not amp it on a train.
I will not amp it in the lab,
I will not amp it in a cab.
I will not amp it with new water,
I will not amp it, so don’t bother.
I will not amp it in a plate,
Even if your results are late.
I will not amp it with new buffer,
I will not amp it before supper.
You cannot run me in the lane,
I am making you insane.
I will not amp it with new dNTPs,
I will not amp it if you sneeze.
I will not amp it with this Taq,
I do not like it, take it back.
I will not amp it in this well,
They’ll put you in a padded cell.
I do not like this new machine,
I’ll only amp it in your dreams.
I will not amplify your DNA,
No matter what you do or say.
And so it went, that’s how it goes,
The magic left us, I suppose.
(Where it went no one here knows).
But if you find out where it went,
Don’t tell me now ‘cause I’m spent.
I was here, but now I’m gone,
I threw that machine out on the lawn.
I decided to go and have some fun,
By selling seashells in the sun.
Now I have finished my silly poem,
I give up, I’m going home.

source: http://www.protocol-online.org/science-forums/posts/21564.html

More lab humor at:

Labs Are Vital

Protocol Online BioForum discussion

(Feel free to add your favorite lab jokes in the comments!)